How Do You React?

Happy Spring! I don’t know where you are or when you are reading this but here in the Pacific Northwest it is lusciously green with beautiful pops of color everywhere. I love staring out my windows all around my house and seeing new flowers bloom that I didn’t even know we had. They bring a smile to my face and a simple joy to my life that I didn’t know I would enjoy so much.

A reaction is somewhat unconscious. It is an action performed or a feeling experienced in response to a situation or event. I didn’t think or plan out how I would react to seeing a new flower or plant grow in our yard. It just sort of happened. In the same way, I don’t often practice or spend time thinking about how I would respond or react to a situation I don’t like. It just kind of happens.

Life is constantly throwing us curveballs…or fastballs…or changeups…without us getting any warning. And like most good hitters, we quickly try to read it and then we just pray and swing. This analogy falls short because I don’t want you to be like a baseball player, swinging away at the balls of life. I want you to be more like a mathematician, who is patient and takes time to calculate the correct answer.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

James 1:19

Nick and I both struggle with reacting to a situation quickly. And don’t worry I’m not throwing my husband under the bus. He reads and edits these and allows me to share candidly hoping that many can relate and feel encouraged. Now what I will say is that he is one million times better at thinking before he speaks. He stays quiet so he doesn’t say something that he’ll regret, patiently waits and gives himself time to pray before responding. As I stated in my last post, the past 10 months have been very transformative for Nick and me. On top of everything else we had done previously (moving states, starting a church in our home, Nick finishing his doctorate, buying a house, and moving only days before giving birth to our daughter) the transition from one child to two really added a lot to the mix. Nick has the weight of the church on his shoulders from discipleship, church growth, management, leading worship, as well as the high calling and responsibility to preach the word. And my main focus is to support him, raise our children, manage our household, and help with the church where I can. There are also many internal and personal challenges that add to these responsibilities. Simply put, it’s a lot and we are tired. And as I’m sure most of you know, when you are tired, it is hard to think rationally, react patiently, or practice self-control. We tend to hold it together as best we can, but one wrong move and we unload on either the poor random person who said the wrong thing or more commonly the ones closest to us. For example, today, the day I’m writing this post, has been A DAY. Zion has been whining a lot and not listening. Olive has been very needy and crying about everything. I kept  it together well, being patient with my children, and watching how I reacted to them. But when Nick came out and asked me a question I kindly and half-jokingly told him it’s best he stays away from me right now so I don’t bite his head off. Not because I wanted to or that he did anything, but simply because I was struggling and using up all my self-control on the kids. I am not condoning this statement toward my husband and there are many other ways to respond, but at that moment, I was afraid I didn’t have any self-control left. But God.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless

James 1:26

I don’t say all this to complain or for sympathy. I say all this because the reality is that there are many times in our lives when we have so much going on, and in those moments we need to be more on guard. 

Be of sober spirit, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in the faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished among your brethren who are in the world.

1 Peter 5:8-9

Satan is sly and deceiving. He finds many things to distract us and pull our eyes off of Jesus. Our flesh and our own choices also drag us away from serving and surrendering fully to the Lord in all circumstances. Be on guard. But another area we have to consider is that the Lord is Sovereign and allows, better yet wills, these things in our lives to happen so that He could be more glorified. So how will you react?

How will you react when God calls you to something you don’t want to do? When your neighbor doesn’t like you? Or a church member complains about something at the church? How will you respond when your parents challenge you? Or your child is testing every boundary possible? What if your best friends or support system decide to move away? You lose a loved one? You make a mistake and your mistake has lasting consequences? How will you react when a coworker challenges your faith? Or you get the chemo diagnosis you were not ready for? Or lose your job suddenly?

I pray that no matter what the situation you are in right now, you are encouraged as you seek the answers in the pages of God’s Word.

 Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith brings about perseverance.

James 1:2-3

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6

Not that I speak from want, for I learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in abundance; in any and all things I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11-13

There are so many opportunities and areas of life to practice patience, love, self-control, and gratitude. As a Christian, people are always watching you whether you like it or not. And sadly, there are many people just waiting for you to make a mistake so they can find something to attack or try to diminish the power of our Lord. Walking in God‘s grace is a great place to be, but we have to pay attention to how we respond and react because we are witnesses for the kingdom of God.

But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and fear, having a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who disparage your good conduct in Christ will be put to shame.

1 Peter 3:15-16

Personally, I can say I have reacted well in some instances and very poorly at other times. I’m constantly being reminded that how I respond to things is important because my two-year-old is a sponge and copies everything I say and do. For example, he likes to call for his Daddy the way mommy does, “Nnnniiiiiiiiicccckkk” in a raspy lowish loud voice. It’s quite comical but also scary. I have also heard him “scold” Olive using phrases that I use with him and, I have to say, it doesn’t sound great and this makes me find ways to rephrase things in my discipline. I feel that raising kids is like a mirror into my own life. I expect my children to respond a certain way yet I don’t practice that same self-control myself. Most people want their kids to have first-time obedience when we ask them to do something, but have you ever thought about how they learn the opposite of that? “Hey Mommy, can I show you something?” “Yeah one second honey, Mommy has to finish cleaning this.” “Daddy, can you please read this book to me.” “Sure buddy, let me get some water first.” We are not commanded to obey our children, but I do think we are to be models and examples to our children. So when I tell my son it’s time to change his diaper and he wants to finish lining up his cars, I get it. I’m not saying he shouldn’t obey me. What I’m saying is we need to look at the whole picture before we get frustrated with our kids on how they respond and react.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for building up what is needed, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

Through this church planning process, there have been many ups and downs for me, mainly in my mind. I have shared some of that in previous posts but recently I was challenged again to check my attitude. The Lord has called us to serve. That means giving of our home, our time, our resources, and now for me not being able to sit in service anymore. I am prone to let my thoughts wander to fulfill my selfish desires and not serve with a grateful heart. I react poorly by having a bad attitude and being less patient, loving, and kind.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Colossians 3:17

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, so that you will be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.

Philippians 2:14-15

God is so gracious to allow us to partake in the beauty of his masterpiece. To be his witnesses shining the light of Jesus for all to see. He didn’t have to invite us but He did. And that is why we must always pay attention to how we react in all situations.

But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you do not do the things that you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk in step with the Spirit.

Galatians 5:16-24

This is my goal. Although I fall short over and over again I am encouraged to keep going. To strive to bite my tongue, take a breath before I respond quickly, listen better instead of trying to get my point across, be a better example for my children, and shine the light of Christ wherever I go and whoever I come in contact with. So I ask you, after hearing a little of my life, and a lot of Scriptures, how will you react? What’s your goal this month?

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16

---

Jess T.

---

Prayer Request

• We will outjoy our neighbor and not respond in the same way we are treated

• Parenting wisdom as we raise this next generation

• That God’s Word would be ever on our hearts and minds and we would prayerfully respond lovingly in all situations and circumstances, especially to each other, our children, our church congregation, and the unbelievers we come in contact with